Review: Picture You Dead

Words by Georgia Cudby

Theatre Review: Picture You Dead

A stark contrast from the deliciously dark, gritty TV crime dramas you might be used to, Picture You Dead combines bestselling novelist Peter James’s twisting tale of murder and deceit with an endearing tongue-in-cheek style. 

Set in Brighton, Mr and Mrs Kipling’s (no, nothing to do with the cakes) charming world of domesticity is shattered when they unintentionally discover a long-lost masterpiece, which could sell for millions, after exchanging it for 20 quid at a car boot sale. The audience relates to the happy couple’s (brush)stroke of luck, enjoying a nuanced performance from Ben Cutler (War Horse, Eastenders) as the devoted husband and perhaps not enjoying a slightly heavy-handed one from Fiona Wade (Emmerdale, 2.22 A Ghost Story), his spirited wife.

However, the joy doesn’t last for long as Mr and Mrs Kipling are sucked into the materialistic and murderous world of fine art dealing, becoming mixed up with master art-forger Dave Hegarty, expertly played by Mark Oxtoby with tasteful comedy, pace and believability, who we are never quite sure is a goodie or a baddie. Unknowingly, the Kiplings also grab the attention of the rich and ruthless art dealer Stuart Piper, your classic crime fiction villain, played by an animated Ore Oduba (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Strictly Come Dancing), who does well to fill the boots of this larger-than-life character. Roberta Kilgore, Piper’s stony sidekick, adds a welcome dash of panache to the play with Jodie Steele’s (Bonnie & Clyde, Wicked, Heathers, SIX) precision, gravitas and exciting choices, keeping us on our toes.

Of course, no Peter James story would be complete without the famous DCI Roy Grace, a level-headed detective driven by a perfectly capable George Rainsford (Casualty, Call the Midwife), though we may miss the depth of his direct POV from James’ bestselling novels (over 23 million copies sold worldwide) which, of course, isn’t really Rainsford’s fault. Accompanied by a similarly straight-talking policing partner, Bella Moy, who I can readily imagine on the likes of Line of Duty (BBC), they make for a pleasingly plausible police duo.

Et voila! We are presented with a living, breathing crime scene and we, the audience, are the investigators, left to draw our own conclusions. With enough cheap gags (for those who are easel-y amused), clever twists and a hard-working cast able to keep the ball in the air for us, it’s simple for us to find entertainment in our new roles as detectives. Saying that, I can’t help but yearn for more backstory, a deep dive into the troubled psychology of these characters… but that’s not really what this is all about.

Almost enough is done to cover up the lack of logic here. Energetic cameo performances from Sean Jones (Blood Brothers, Emmerdale) and Adam Morris (Maid Marian and Her Merry Men, Genie in the House) lift the production with their adept ability to evoke empathy or hearty laughter. Encouraging musical interludes carry the audience delightfully from scene to scene. An impressive split-stage set displays how three completely different worlds collide. My one critique would be the analogue clock hanging on the wall – which slightly drew me out of the play’s reality – unless, of course, I missed a beat and this was actually a fantasy play where two days can really happen in 4-and-a-half minutes.

Although this modernised who-dunnit may not be painted with shades of genius, it certainly draws you in enough to have a generous chuckle, murmur your crime-solving theories to your fellow theatre-goers and etch in your memory some skillful performances from a talented cast.

Peter James’ thriller Picture You Dead  is at the Theatre Royal Bath until Saturday 21 June. Tickets available here.